I have always been sound with my decision making, and reaching my goals, even when others tried to disrupt them. But when you are under control of another, you have no idea that your life is changing right before your very eyes, yet you do not even see it. You never know when life is going to throw lemons at you. That is what my ex did. So I took it and turned it into lemonade.
My Ex suffers from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and is 100% mentally disabled through the Veterans Administration. I thought I could handle the ups and downs, but towards the end, I encountered more downs. I am no longer afraid to tell my family, friends, and co-workers that I was physically and emotionally abused during the last 3 years of my relationship. They already knew.
I never understood how a woman could stay in such a relationship and I would get angry when I heard such a woman dealing with this. I always wondered why a woman couldn't just up and leave her abuser. The sad thing is, I was one of them, and didn't think anything of it. I blamed the Army for my Ex's violence, PTSD, and his abuse. I recently found out that everyone pretty much knew what I was dealing with, they just played along with my cover-ups. I will not go into details on what I went through, but I am pretty lucky to be alive now that I think about it. I was brainwashed, kept from family and friends, and was under a microscope 100% of the time. I believed everything my Ex said to me, follwed his rules, and took a lot of his faults and made them mine so he could keep up his perfect reputation to the public eye as well as his family. I did what I was told to do. No questions asked, and I certainly never challenged him. I learned that the hard way.
A few Emergency room trips later, bullet holes throughout the house, and his many threats of suicide, I survived this all. People asked why I never called 911. How could I when he was a law enforcement officer, and the phone was always in his control? I am stronger now because of him, and so was my will to move on.
I hope to meet other women with similar situations as me, and hopefully one day help other women walk out of a relationship before it is too late. My Ex couldn't have done a better favor to me by evicting me from our home with my minor child (from previous marriage). He was gracious enough to allow me 31 days. I was out in 13. I call it determination. I finally felt it for once in my life. Now I am moving on to a new life with my son, and I love my freedom.
**** On my flip side, I thought I could never love another again, but that happened to me unexpectedly, and I have found happiness. There is someone out there for everyone, you have to take the chance and embrace it. Just go with it. Life has its ups and downs, and I certainly found a loving man who has given me the world and his unconditional love. I actually carry the feelings knowing how he feels about me, and I know he is deeply in love with me. Thats what every woman should feel. Her man's dedication to the relationship. I am so lucky he found me. I treasure our countless hours of conversations, and how he & I can express our feelings to each other with no hesitation. He loves me for me. And thats how I love him back. This is a new year for me, with many great things to come. I feel it! I am going to journey a new life with him, and wherever the road may lead us, we'll take it! It can happen to you too. ****
Here are two links in Saginaw County I would like to share with you. If anyone has any other links, please post them on my webpage so others may see them.
Child Abuse and Neglect Council of Saginaw Co the
AND....
http://www.undergroundrailroadinc.org/
The Underground Railroad has a very useful website and they are also located on Twitter and facebook. I highly suggest looking at this page. I have utilized them twice, and the staff is extremely helpful and understanding.
I hope to meet other men and women that are victims of emotinal and physical abuse. I encountered more emotional than physical. I am especially interested in meeting people with military backgrounds or had a spouse that suffers from PTSD.
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